


Tony's Dont's

by Ourlullaby



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-19
Updated: 2014-09-19
Packaged: 2018-02-17 23:54:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2327747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ourlullaby/pseuds/Ourlullaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a list of things Tony is not allowed to do... ever. And there is reason for them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tony's Dont's

**Author's Note:**

> If people like my odd list I might write small elaborations on all points. Chapter for each.  
> I also might write few more things into the list. Anyhow enjoy.

Tony Stark isn’t allowed to do certain thinks even with Avengers around:

\- One of things is to blow anything up when Bruce is nearby to hulk out.  
\- He is not allowed to install anything into air vents, not even buzzers because of Clint’s air vent crawling habit.   
\- Try planting any sort of tracker or illuminators on Natasha’s outfits.  
\- To hide Steve’s Captain America shield or use it on experiments.  
\- Trick Thor to use his hammer, to test if it’s good replacement for toaster.  
\- Try to get Bruce drunk.  
\- Change all Shield mainframes browser icons into lolcats  
\- Cook, unless he is sober/not sleep deprived/not in middle of some project. (Tony is excellent cook when he puts his mind into it, thank you very much.)  
\- Drop bucket of ice at Steve’s neck.  
\- Plant cookie traps into air ventilation shafts.  
\- Test if Iron Man armor can be used as sleigh, even if kids would love it, still not great idea.  
\- Convince Hulk to try whack-a-Doom bot.  
\- Replace Fury’s eye patches onto frilly maid-versions.  
\- Mix coffee and cake dough and call it breakfast.  
\- Use repulsor gloves for making s’mores.  
\- Tempt Hulk for tag-game.  
\- Call Steve Capsicle in public.  
\- Call Clint Cupid on any other channels than Avengers own.  
\- In any chance or situation; Quote Shakespeare as genius plan to enrage Loki by calling him Juliet.  
\- Hide Clint’s training arrows in plans to create the practice more ‘life-like’.  
\- Convince Thor that pop tarts are payment in one of countries.  
\- Convince Thor that pop tarts are sacred in one religion and thus forbidden to eat on any other day than Saturday.  
\- Convince Thor that Clint stole his pop tarts.  
\- Hide Coulson's Captain America coffee cup  
\- Try bribe Clint to play tag with Dumm-E  
\- Make any kind of cookie trap. (He still owes Natasha for that.)  
\- Challenge Thor into drinking game with Cap while shouting 'For science'  
\- Convince Bruce to wear purple pants. (No matter how he says it would flatter skin complexion of the Big Guy.)  
\- Hide anything belonging to Natasha. (The man seriously has a death wish)

 

Avengers found one more item to list:  
Tony Stark isn’t allowed to eat absentmindedly bananas.  
For elaboration; Steve’s face still flushes when he sees the mentioned fruit.  
(Tony still hasn't figure out why.)


End file.
